“I’ll never know, and neither will you, of the life you don’t choose. We’ll only know that whatever that sister life was, it was important and beautiful and not ours. It was a ghost ship that didn’t carry us. There’s nothing to do but salute it from the shore.” –Cheryl Strayed
Hello there! After much too long of a hiatus, I’m back! Maybe hiatus isn’t really quite the right word, as I wasn’t sure if I would be returning again. But, here I am, back, with a solid itch in my fingers and a head full of ideas. And, hopefully, if all goes well, I’m here to stay for awhile.
I’m back for a lot of reasons. But I’m back simply and primarily because I’ve missed it here. I’ve been journaling a lot more, and envying bloggers a lot more. I’ve found myself wishing I could just write out my thoughts, ideas, projects, and things I find pretty and inspiring like they all do and then it dawned on me: I’m an idiot. I have a blog. I could do all those things. But, pity parties are much easier and more comfortable. So, after I threw myself the biggest, most extravagant pity party, and had my fill, I came back here. I got back to work, and have sworn to myself that that would be the last of my ridiculous pity parties.
My journey needed to be exactly how it was, in the order that it was, to get me here.
It has been a gift to write again, and brainstorm new ideas and directions for this blog. In this space I feel inspired and grounded and lighter—things I haven’t felt in quite some time now. I’ve come to a bit of a crossroads in my life, I guess you could say, and it seems that coming back here might help me find my way. I’ve felt stuck and lost and sad for longer than I’d care to admit. In a place where all the regret, blame, fear, and insatiable want, live. I don’t entirely know the way out of this oppressive place, I just know I need to move again, and take a few risks. My husband (of course, the eternal optimist) believes I’ve been looking at this crossroads, this place I find myself in, all wrong. From his vantage point, my journey thus far has all been entirely necessary to get me to this place of discontent and restlessness, and passion, and, consequently—movement. My journey needed to be exactly how it was, in the order that it was, to get me here. I could fight it, or I could accept it, and cooperate with it, and believe that it’s the journey I need.
Things look much more lovely and hopeful from his vantage point, per usual, and it’s truly done me no good wishing and pining for the could-haves or would-haves or should-haves. Acceptance. So. Hard. So. Necessary.
So it is with this new-found hope or maybe, more accurately, hope for a hope, that I return to my tiny corner of the internet. I’m really so glad to be back.
Lastly, as you may have noticed, I’ve revamped the design and re-named the blog. It’s new design and name, I think, fit the blog it has evolved into and the blog that it is becoming a bit better. I hope you think so too and enjoy your time here. I’m excited to see what it holds for me and for those of you who would like to follow along—hopefully new and old friends alike!